Sunday, March 25, 2007
Free Falling
The pastor at church this past weekend used the phrase "free falling." Following God sometimes feels like you've jumped out of a plane and you have no parachute but you know who to trust in and who will catch you to ensure a safe landing. Bottom line, once you jump out of the plane you have no control and you only have your trust in Christ to rely on. This should be enough right?
I've got to admit, this is something I'm struggling with. Here lately I've allowed my job and profession to have a tendency of leaning on being in control, as well as striving to seek the approval of others to influence me greatly, silly I know. It's been great to finally be teaching these past couple of weeks, but with the population I'm educating there's an underlying pressure that I need to know what I'm doing and have everything put together. This has been a challenge since what I'm teaching is still not all put together. Without boring details of it all, I've basically found myself battling becoming "of" the world, instead of just being "in" it. I've allowed the "world" to influence my mind and thoughts, while at the same time I've neglected the one who truly matters and who I should be leaning on at all costs, Jesus.
With my mind swirling this afternoon, not wanting to truly stop and be still, a song that I never heard before began playing. The title of it is "Undo," here are parts of the lyrics:
I've got to admit, this is something I'm struggling with. Here lately I've allowed my job and profession to have a tendency of leaning on being in control, as well as striving to seek the approval of others to influence me greatly, silly I know. It's been great to finally be teaching these past couple of weeks, but with the population I'm educating there's an underlying pressure that I need to know what I'm doing and have everything put together. This has been a challenge since what I'm teaching is still not all put together. Without boring details of it all, I've basically found myself battling becoming "of" the world, instead of just being "in" it. I've allowed the "world" to influence my mind and thoughts, while at the same time I've neglected the one who truly matters and who I should be leaning on at all costs, Jesus.
With my mind swirling this afternoon, not wanting to truly stop and be still, a song that I never heard before began playing. The title of it is "Undo," here are parts of the lyrics:
I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only Scratching the surface of who I've been known to be
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
YOU'RE the only one who can undo
What I've become
Trying to do things on my own strength and will, not only effects me but those around me as well and I seek His forgiveness. Thankfully, He can undo the places I tend to find myself in. He reminded me that I don't have to have it all together, duh!!!! I know this, it's amazing how the enemy can attack from all sides, in the most subtle ways.
I'm so thankful that we're able to continually come back to our Abba, regardless of how many times I try to do things on my own. I'm going to do the best I can with this "free falling" allowing Him to place me wherever He wants me to land. I'm thankful for His forgiveness and grace that still amazes me. I just need to trust in His plan and not my own. Thank you Father for using music and words to speak.
I'm learning how vital it is to "pick up your cross" daily!
